Teachers Understanding Children Coming From Violent Homes

My name is Marsha and I am a single mother of 3 children ages 16, 10, and 3. I am currently homeless and living in a domestic violence program. I am writing because I am concerned about the way the teachers in the Boston Public Schools lack the understanding children need when they have witnessed domestic violence and/or have been abused themselves.

For example, there is a 10 year old boy who relocated to Boston and was verbally abused by a sibling’s father and witnessed his mother being assaulted by him and saw injuries to her. In school he received a lot of support, got along well with others, but often kept to himself. Upon relocating to Boston, he was placed in a classroom with over 30 other kids and no support. He was picked on daily by the other children and when he went to the teachers for help he was ignored. This caused his anxiety to escalate and he knocked his desk over. The school often waited for his anxiety to escalate before taking action and their action was to suspend him including when he reacted to another child stabbing him in the neck with a pencil. All his suspensions did was send this child the message that he is “bad.”

For a child who is being abused or witnessing domestic violence school is their only “safe place.” These children do not have the skills to cope with the violence in their home and act out of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, and self-blame. These children suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is an anxiety disorder. They often feel nervous when something happens without warning, have trouble trusting and feeling close to other people, get mad very easily, and feel guilty because they blame themselves for the abuse. The class sizes are too big, often one teacher to 35 children in one classroom which does not allow the child to receive the attention they need. The schools are only focused on their curriculum because too much focus is put on them to prepare the children for the MCAS tests.

We need more schools to take an active part in helping the children learn and use coping skills to relieve their negative feelings in order for them to be more productive. Teachers, principals and school counselors need to realize that sometimes when you have students who are witnessing domestic violence and/or being abused themselves they need to be more sensitive to the child’s needs. They need to work with the “whole” child; including physically and mentally and understand the affects domestic violence has on them. They need to be trained and prepared to assist children in coping with their different feelings like fear, anger, helplessness, and anxiety. The schools need to be more knowledgeable on anxiety disorders such as PTSD. The school district should mandate yearly trainings before school starts. They need to stop labeling the children “problems”, “trouble”, “off the walls”, “out of control”, as this lowers their self esteem and reinforces to them that they are “bad." Give them other tools they can use to relieve their bad feelings instead of “acting out”. Schools should be trained to recognize warning signs and be able to make referrals and/or provide resources to appropriate adults in child’s life.

Marsha
Crittenton Women’s Union
Woman to Woman Participant