Asking for help isn't easy either

After returning a purchase at a department store yesterday, I left the store to witness a young woman pleading for help. Apparently her car’s battery had died and she needed a jump. I, too, am a likely candidate for “Damsel in Distress” because I don’t carry such things as jumper cables, extra windshield wiper fluid, and water in my car. However, I had an air compressor. It broke, and—yes—sadly, I carry it’s useless carcass around with me. So, I could empathize with the young woman’s helplessness.

As you have intuited, I couldn’t help her and moved on (no sense in getting her hopes up because even if I had cables I’ve no idea how to use them.) But, this Damsel’s “Knight in Shining Armor” came along. Well, not exactly; however, he did have white, shining hair. The Knight valiantly sprung to action. With his wife chatting along through the process of jumping (or whatever you call it) the car, he reassured the Damsel in an exceedingly paternal way. It was rather sweet actually, for though he and his wife required the use of a handicapped parking space, he moved with renewed energy as he expertly fiddled with the Damsel’s car, successfully restarting it. The Knight advised the Damsel to keep the car running as she thanked the man loudly and profusely enough to be heard across the parking lot. All of us witnesses couldn’t help smiling at this aging Knight doffed his hat to the young woman in a most courtly way (I mean who does that anymore?), and escorted his chatty wife to her side of the car and helped her in, underscoring his chivalrous nature. The act of helping some one in need seemed to take years off them both and I was reminded an act of kindness and generosity can make a person feel. How wonderful it is to go a bit out of your way or make a sacrifice to help someone truly in need. It’s heroic, if you ask me.

Yet, everyday on the Park Street station train platform there’s usually someone asking for help in the form of spare change, and our fists tighten. We don’t even look that person in the eye hoping that avoiding their gaze will make them pass us by. I always feel a little guilty because I rarely carry any cash with me (a fact that horrifies my mother), and doubly-guilty that I can’t assist a person who humbly asked for a little spare change. It’s a terrible feeling.

The point is, the scene in the parking lot and all the days I couldn’t offer help in the form of a few coins reminded me not only of how nice it is to help someone, but how difficult it is to ask for help. A young woman stranded in a dark parking lot is a dangerous proposition nowadays. The horror that your vehicle has betrayed you and stopped working, and finding (even if you have jumper cables) you need someone to give you that jump. There were several people that passed the woman by that probably just didn’t want to get involved, even if they had jumper cables and the knowledge of how to use them. After all, it’s a risk helping someone. That means you’ve temporarily taken responsibility for a person’s well-being and it’s not a calling everyone is suited to.

But, I wonder when it was that we became no longer obligated to help people in need whether they need a jump, a little spare change, an organ donation, or whatever. We hesitate at the edge instead of taking the plunge, instead of taking the risk that maybe, just maybe, helping someone will make our day a little brighter, not to mention changing the fortunes of the people we help.

Remember, it’s hard to ask to ask for help. To have done all you can to help yourself like carry all the right equipment and spare blankets in your trunk, and realizing in life it’s not enough to just have the jumper cables. You need some one with the skills, knowledge, and experience to help you out of an impossible situation.

This is why I applaud the people that ask for help, because it isn’t easy and we often forget that until we find ourselves with a stalled car, a foreclosed home, or laid off of a job. How vulnerable these situations make us feel. Many of us may find ourselves in need of a little help at some point in our lives and I am grateful that there are people willing and able to be Knights in Shining Armor...or something like that. So, the next time someone asks for some help, take a chance and help them. Go a little out of your way, dig deep in your pocket and remember how difficult it is to ask for help, and recognize how courageous they are. I finally did, and am happy to report that I was able to give $.85 in change to a woman at Park Street station. The surprised and grateful look on her face made me feel like a hero, and I wished I had more to give.

K.B., Crittenton Women's Union
Institutional Advancement Dept.