The Voices Project

Stress

Do you have a friend,

That likes your man,

That's stress!

Does your friend wear your clothes,

When you didn't know about it,

That's stress!

Do you have a baby,

Does your baby talk,

But doesn't walk,

That's stress!

Do you have dreams,

That you wish you will never wake up from,

That's stress!

Does your dream seem unreal,

But it really is true,

That's stress!

The little things that you didn't pay attention to can be the most stressing things in your life.

*Deanna is currently studying for her GED exam

Safe and Sound

I've been moving around back and forth from house to house, and now I finally found a home for my child and me. We now live with my mom, sister, and brother. I feel so safe being back at home with my family because I haven't lived with them in three years. So now that I am back everything is going well with school and waking up on time to get me and my child dressed.

*Anita is currently studying for the GED exam

My promise as a mother

Baby, I promise to take care of you the best way I know how.

Baby, I promise to always be there for you in any way.

Baby, I promise I will never put anyone before you. You will always come first.

Baby, I promise you will never go hungry or be unclothed.

Baby, I promise I will never let any one hurt you emotionally or physically.

Baby, I promise to make sure you are the best person you can be.

Baby, I promise I will never give up on you.

IF FOR ANY REASON I DO NOT COMPLY WITH THESE PROMISES, TELL ME "MOMMY YOU'RE SLIPPING WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETER ON THIS!"

THESE ARE THE PROMISES TO MY UNBORN SON!

What Role is TAFDC Playing?

TAFDC has been helping families with children in U.S. for many years. Yet many parents complain about not being assisted in the proper way. In fact, we have to sit down and think, is it really the organization's fault or our own fault? We have to consider both parties.

First, it is true that many TAFDC workers don't do their job by helping people in a timely fashion. Some of them are not really there to help, but to get their pay. There are workers who are there to help people, but are extremely busy, and have to be called frequently so they can assist you better. We cannot only blame the department, sometimes it's really trying to help people, but people don't want to take the opportunity to better themselves.

TAFDC is not a program for lifetime; TAFDC is a program that will help you certain amount of time, until you get settled with your life. Some people don't take the proper benefit of TAFDC. They waste their time and benefit themselves with the income, but they don't try to do something progressive with their lives. So, now do you still believe that all the blame should be put on TAFDC?

Where Do People Like Me Fit?

People, for as long as I can remember, have expressed to me how smart, special, good, strong, and caring I really am. People have also expressed to me they felt I would go far in life and would probably succeed at any thing I set out to do in my life. These things have always been nice for me to hear and I would agree. I am all these things, and so much more. However, sometimes I feel life is just downright frustrating and confusing.

People like me, for whatever reason, seem to have been given a raw deal to work from, learn, and hopefully grow and develop from. The game of life isn’t always easy for us to play. To us it seems there are always trick cards being thrown our way, people trying to steal what is rightfully ours, or people plainly cheating and trying to get over on us. We are not blind and are able to see what’s going on! Despite these upsets in our lives, we continue to fight our way through these obstacles to stay in the game of life. People like me just want a good prosperous life just like the next person. The simple things in life such as a nice and safe place to live, a good job to be economically self-sufficient, to have love, respect, courtesy, and compassion in our lives. People like me want to be freed from needing extra help that we have had to have to assist us in our lives so we could survive and be able to live. We never intended to be on any system for longer than we really needed to be. People like me never wanted to feel stuck.

People like me understand totally that we have to crawl before we can walk. We also understand, quite frankly, we might have made some bad choices in our lives that may have caused some of our heartaches and pain that we have experienced. We still deserve another chance to make whatever it was we did wrong, right!

When it’s all said and done, when we do decide to do something about the things in our lives that we are not happy about, we are sometimes slammed up against a wall. Why? We are doing everything we can to help ourselves. We have started to take some of the advice that had been given to us so many times by others who have seemed to care about us as a person, so what is the problem then? The problem is, some people don’t want people like me to become unstuck, it may make them feel better that they have more than people like me have and they may even feel they are better than people like me.

People like me sometimes feel we are used as other people’s doormats. People like me, are like precious diamonds that most people don’t appreciate until we have moved on to other things in our lives. Well! I am here to tell you people like me change the world. We are the people who spread hope and sunshine into other people’s lives. We are the people who are able to reach a wide range of people of all social statuses. We are the people who make good leaders. People like me are missionaries, teachers, counselors, ministers, and even doctors. People like me are people who will and have gone over and beyond the call of duty, to help and serve,

Or just fill in, because there is a need. So! Where do people like me fit in society? The answer is: We fit anywhere people will allow us to prove ourselves GREAT!

To Teenagers

Surviving or survival skills for teenagers can at times be difficult or even hard; this does not always have to be this way. This process or this phase of teenager’s lives can be a lot less difficult and safer if teenagers are guided and given the skills necessary as they strive towards independence and self-motivation.

It is imperative that in present day society that you have or seek out positive role models and mentors to help guide you through these very important years. You do not have to do this alone. Gaining life skills are of utmost importance if there isn’t good role modeling in your homes or around you. You must never settle for less. Look at your teachers, leaders in the churches around, police officers, heads of state, and so on.

There is corruption in every walk of life and on every level of society. This is when you find your spiritual side and live as closely to a power outside of yourself that is greater than you (maybe God). If religion doesn’t work for you, then always do the next right thing and if you don’t know what this should look like ask somebody, and not just anybody, but someone that has knowledge, power, strength, wisdom, understanding, and compassion. Someone that will be there for you no matter what; that will be there for you when you need them.

Teenagers, seek out people that are positive and making positive changes in their community. This is about your life. You are important. You matter to your community and that others can look up to you.

Life does next have to be a series of dead end streets. You must always lift your head up high and see that the sky is the limit. You can be happy, joyous, and free. You must ultimately work hard and remember that there can be limitless possibilities for you.

So with all the above in mind, teenagers stay positive, be healthy make wise choices, and you were meant to be here because YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!! and YOU MATTER!!!

Prison system reform: Stop the Cycle of drug offences

I am here to offer input on an issue that never gets addressed and is almost always ignored. From knowing some people who have been through the correctional system, I have asked myself, how is it that an inmate has access to drugs? Have you ever thought of what it even takes to visit someone in prison? The visitation processes are so difficult that, believe me when I say, it cannot be the visitor who brings it in. I know that many other people also have access to the inmates, but are not required to go through the same security measures that everyone else does. Because inmates have continued access to drugs while in prison, they may never be fully rehabilitated.

This is where my concerns for the inmate transitioning back out to society lie, especially when they leave and still have substance abuse issues and need additional recovery support. Someone in recovery might be on the verge of relapse despite all these programs supposedly available through the Massachusetts prison system (listed on their website,) But once you are in jail, it’s difficult to really get that help because the rehab programming is not consistent and inmates have continued access to drugs.

A reality check is needed in all aspects and areas of recovery and drug reform. I believe when the problem is ignored it becomes worse, the way it has throughout the years. Many inmates get released, then must deal with society—their blame and judgment—while the main issue is not dealt with, lack of prison system supports and resources when inmates are released.

Case management is not what it should be, nor  are the services they claim to offer. So by me posting these concerns, I am hoping that I can make you aware of what’s going on and how we may fix it. Someone you know may end up in this situation and may need guidance to the right ways of staying off of drugs and away from the circumstances that may lead them to going back to jail or relapsing. I feel that with state funding available to the prison system and responsible staffing, Massachusetts should not have an issue with consistency in service delivery.

I believe that a pre-release program should be mandatory for all inmates who are afflicted with the disease of substance abuse so that they can know the resources and requirements to enroll in rehabilitation programs before leaving a structured institution, including prison. Maybe this way they will be more willing to deal with their disease and not go back to where they came from.

Hanging with Nancy P.

Recently several CWU staff and clients had the opportunity to attend a conference in Cambridge, MA called “Gifted Women.” The event, which was held in a spectacular private home (complete with a ballroom!), was attended by high-powered women business leaders and elected officials (who paid $2000+ to attend), as well as by representatives of nonprofits and community groups.  There were about 150 or so women in all. 

It was a daylong event, held under a tent on a beautiful day, together with panels on the economy, healthcare, national security and running for elected office. One of our 20-year-old program participants stood up and asked a very pointed question at the economy panel relating to the war in Iraq (the panel seemed very impressed by her question!)

The goal of the day was to raise awareness of and participation in the political system by women. A researcher reported that many women say they don’t feel “qualified” to run for office so they don’t; the same survey showed that although men may not feel qualified, they run anyway! There was time for networking, and the highlight of the day was a rousing speech given by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Since it was a pretty intimate event, you almost felt like you were part of some “inner” circle.  I have never attended an event quite like this one.

Program Criteria for Entering the Workforce

It's true training programs for entering the workforce have been increasing since the late 1970's and 1980's when such opportunities almost became extinct. No longer were programs to help single mom's get off welfare a priority.

Now in 2007 with welfare reform, single mom's are told that they must return back to work or obtain employment once they're child reaches five years of age. They are no longer eligible for benefits. They are assisted with daycare vouchers and transportation Charlie Cards to attend such programs.

While programs are arising both on the private sector as well as government-funded, they sometimes meet unrealistic enrollment qualifications. For example, Susan is a mother of twin boys, age five. Susan finally found a program that sparked her interest, and her mother agreed to support her as long as she attended some type of program or school that would help her become economically self sufficient.

Susan enrolled in a program that would help her toward her career to find a job that would allow her to work, support her family, and offer tuition reimbursement to an accredited college of her choice, as long as it was in her field of interest through the program. The criterion is that she shows one year of work experience. Susan unfortunately got pregnant after she graduated from high school and soon after turned to the government for cash assistance. Therefore, Susan has never worked.

Yet Susan has worked; she has taken very good care of the boys. She has managed to make it on a very small budget that the welfare provided, her children have not been seriously ill and are very happy little boys. We have a tendency to minimize a woman's job in the household; we are the backbone of the family. Please take into consideration some of the criteria when attaching them to some of the government-funded programs. You could be keeping somebody from getting out of debt, continuing their education, or from supporting their family, which is our ultimate goal. We need more open enrollment programs that can reach out to all unemployed single parents, not just a few.

This week on The Voices Project...

Throughout the week of October 1, 2007, Boston-area, low-income women will blog in their own words about the issues that are most important to them, their personal insights, and their hopes for change.